I'll Take Mine on A Keyser Soze Roll
by Collegekid2006
Summary: When Shawn watches The Usual Suspects 59 times in a row, it has some interesting consequences for his case... Crackfic, kinda.


Gus was surprised when he pulled into the Psych parking lot and saw that Shawn's motorcycle was already there.

He had still been at the office when Gus had left last night, too.

_He's really letting this case get him…_Gus thought ruefully, hurrying inside.

The office was completely dark.

Shawn wasn't in the front room as Gus flicked on the lights and tossed his jacket on a chair.

"Shawn!" He called, growing concerned. "Are you here?"

From the other room, he heard a plaintive cry.

"Keyser Soze!"

"Oh, God." Gus groaned, rolling his eyes. "Not again!"

They went through this every time Shawn got stuck on a case…

He stepped over the fifteen empty bottles of Mountain Dew that littered the floor and rushed into the adjoining room, where Shawn was laying on the couch, watching the final moments of _The Usual Suspects._

_Again_.

He didn't even look up as Gus entered.

"And like that…he's gone." The screen said, fading to black.

Shawn clicked the television off.

"Please tell me you didn't just watch _The Usual Suspects _again." Gus chided, wishing to God there was some way to avoid what was about to come.

But he knew there was nothing he could do…

It was too late now.

Shawn leaned his head back over the arm of the couch, looking up at his friend from an upside-down position.

"Oh. Hey, Gus."

Gus ignored the greeting.

"Seriously, Shawn. What is this? 57 times?" He demanded.

"59." Shawn corrected lightly, slowly rising to his unsteady feet. "I watched it twice yesterday while you were at work."

Shawn kicked aside five more bottles of Mountain Dew that he'd dropped on the floor around the couch and took a step toward Gus. His eyes were bloodshot from the lack of sleep and overabundance of caffeine, but he was grinning broadly.

"Were you here all night?" Gus asked.

"Uh-huh. Working on the case. Thecasethecasethecasethecase…"

"Haven't you even slept?"

Shawn shook his head emphatically, still smiling. His words were coming out almost faster than his brain was processing them now.

"No. Not even a little bit. But it's totally worth it!" He added happily. "Because I did it, Gus! I solved the case!"

"You did?" Gus asked doubtfully, watching his friend's jittery hands.

"Yeah! I was just sitting here and it hit me!"

"_What _hit you?"

"The solution, you silly kaiser roll!" Shawn laughed, then after a moment added, "You silly Keyser _Soze_ roll!"

He laughed again, just a little too shrilly to be considered completely sane.

Gus stepped back.

"Shawn, I think you need to get some sleep…"

"Sleep?" Shawn repeated with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Gus, please! I've never been clearer-headed…clearly-headed?...clear…er…er..?..."

He paused, his head cocked to the side quizzically. For some reason, the words just weren't rolling off his tongue quite right…

Finally, with a slow shake of his head, as if he were trying to clear away the mental cobwebs, he tried again.

"My head has never been clearer..er...er...er."

"Really?" Gus muttered, rolling his eyes mockingly. "Your head has never been clearer-er-er?"

"No!" Shawn insisted, completely missing the jab. "I'm telling you! My head is completely clear...er...you know what I mean. I solved the case!"

"Okay, fine." Gus sighed, sitting on the couch. "Tell me. How did you solve the case?"

"I thought you'd never ask!" Shawn shouted, almost manically, as he fell into the office chair and spun around a few times.

Finally, he let it come to a slow stop and continued with his story, talking so rapidly that Gus had to strain to follow what he was saying.

"I was thinking back to when I used to be in this barbershop quartet in Skokie, Illinois…"

"You were never in a barbershop quartet in Skokie, Illinois." Gus told him, growing impatient.

"I wasn't?"

Shawn looked confused, and even slightly hurt.

"No, Shawn. That's from the movie."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Shawn still didn't seem convinced.

"Really? 'Cause I remember this guy…" He mumbled, scratching his head bewilderedly.

"Shawn!" Gus cut him off. "You were never in a barbershop quartet! You're a terrible singer!"

Shawn huffed, really offended now.

On the verge of tears, even.

"Now that's just not true!"

"What does a barbershop quartet have to do with the case, anyway?" Gus demanded, refusing to get sidetracked by Shawn's caffeine-muddled delirium.

"Nothing," Shawn shrugged. "I was just remembering how much fun the barbershop quartet in Skokie, Illinois was…thanks for ruining _that_ memory, by the way." He added bitterly.

"It wasn't a memory!" Gus shouted. "Did you solve the case or not?"  
Shawn just stared at him blankly.

"What case?"

Now Gus was almost on the verge of tears.

"The case, Shawn!" He moaned, cradling his aching head in his hands. "The case you've been working on for a week now!"

"Oh! _The_ case! Thecasethecasethecase…"

"Yes!" Gus snapped, about to smack his friend upside the head. "_The_ case. Did you solve it or not?"

Shawn paused, rocking the chair back and forth, back and forth.

"I think so…"

He leaned back, his eyes frantically running over the ceiling, as if he had written the answer up there somewhere.

"So…" Gus prodded as patiently as he could.

Shawn sat back up.

"So what?"

"So who did it?!" Gus yelled.

Shawn just blinked at him.

"You're tense." He said calmly. "Tension is a killer. I used to be in this barbershop quartet in Skokie, Illinois…"

"No you weren't!"

Shawn's stamped his foot angrily.

"You can't prove that!" He shouted.

Gus leaned forward, grasping the arms of the office chair, his face inches away from Shawn's.

"Shawn." He said slowly, trying to control his voice. "Did. You. Solve. The. Case?"

"I. Think. So." Shawn mimicked back.

"Okay." Gus exhaled slowly, releasing his grip on the chair. "Then who did it?"

"I. Don't. Remember."

Shawn slowly stood up and made his way back to the couch.

Suddenly, he seemed very tired.

"I think I need a nap…" he murmured, laying back down.

"Good idea," Gus mumbled.

"Maybe watch a movie…"

"NO!"

"Okay, okay…" Shawn yawned, his eyes already closed. "It was just an idea…"

Within a few moments, he was sound asleep.

Gus quietly walked to the door and turned off the light.

He was about to leave when he heard Shawn, still half-asleep on the couch.

"I know who did it, Gus…" he said quietly, almost like he was talking to a dream.

"Who?" Gus whispered.

"You know…"

"Oh, God, Shawn. Please don't say it…"

Shawn grinned, his eyes still closed.

"Keyser…" He yawned, stretching one last time before falling completely asleep. "Keyser Soze…"


End file.
